


who's hungry?

by wombatpop



Category: What We Do in the Shadows (2014)
Genre: Arguing, Based on a Tumblr Post, Fish & Chips, Pre-Stu Transformation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-22
Updated: 2018-05-22
Packaged: 2019-05-09 08:44:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14712872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wombatpop/pseuds/wombatpop
Summary: Anton and the werewolves get some food, post-transformation.Based on a tumblr post bytheunvanquishedzims.





	who's hungry?

**Author's Note:**

> [theunvanquishedzims's post:](http://theunvanquishedzims.tumblr.com/post/154592550695/werewolves-are-stereotyped-as-ravenous-monsters) Werewolves are stereotyped as ravenous monsters because the transformations burn so many calories that they’re essentially starving afterwards. The more “controlled” werewolves are just the ones who figured this out and loaded up on calories beforehand, whereas the “wild” ones assume it’s part of their wolfish nature to hunt and eat whatever’s nearby.  
>  The transformation back burns calories too, but by that point they’re exhausted from running around in the woods all night, not to mention the physical strain of two transformations. And filthy people showing up at Denny’s in the early morning are assumed to be hungover, so the ravenous beast idea is applied only to the wolf half.

“Alright guys, roll call! Who’s here?”  
Anton stands, brushing himself free of grass. At his feet lies a length of chain, covered in dirt and something that could be blood, scratches all along its length. Apart from a single rip in the front of one tracksuit leg, and being filthy, you would never know he was a raging werewolf just twenty minutes ago. On such a cloudy evening, the group had been lucky that their transformations had been cut short, a few hours less than usual, the sun not yet rising.

His call triggers a symphony of calls from across the isolated gardens.  
“Here, Anton!” “Here!” “Present!”  
“Present? Declan, don’t be a smartass.”  
“Sorry Anton.”

“How are we, guys? Any injuries?”  
The group looks around for a few seconds, collectively shaking their heads when no one speaks up.  
“I’m starving Anton.”  
“I told you guys, always have a good meal or two before a transformation night. Did you even have a snack? A muesli bar?”  
“I know Anton, I just didn’t get time.”  
“You didn’t get time.”  
“No, I always forget.”

“Alright, who’s hungry?” Except for Anton every werewolf present puts a hand up.  
“Everyone. Great. Alright, there’s a fish and chip joint down there somewhere, everyone put your clothes back on and let’s go.”  
No one moves.  
“Let’s go, guys!”  
The exhausted werewolves collect their jackets and shirts and trousers and singular onesie saved for when they turn back to human and start down the hill, some staggering alone, some gripping on to each other for balance.

-

“Hi there. We’ll get twenty pieces of fish, five servings of chips, anyone want a potato cake? Yeah twenty potato cakes, let’s get some dim sims too, three servings of dim sims, five number twos, five number sevens, five number threes and, what do people want for drinks? Water? Fizzy drink? No Nathan, you can’t have an iced coffee, we’re trying to rehydrate here. Yeah, ten bottles of water and ten lemonades, thanks. Oh, and ten Gatorades. Didn’t see you had those. Great. Thank you so much.”

The group sits at the back of the shop, taking up two tables. When their food is ready it takes up three.  
They’re all wolfing down the food with reckless abandon when Anton gets a tap on the shoulder.

“Anton…”  
“What?” He looks to the door and pauses.  
“Oh, look who’s here?”  
“Oh no.” Vladislav stops in the doorway. Viago and Nick lean out from behind him, both deflating when they see the werewolf pack.

“What are you doing here?” Anton asks.

“What are you doing here?” Vladislav replies.

“We asked first!”

“You guys look terrible.”  
“Yeah, you look like shit.” Nick interjects. Viago shakes his head at him.

“Tonight was a transformation night, so, give us some consideration, will ya.”  
“Yeah that’s really rude, guys.”

“Hey, is that guy wearing a onesie?” Viago and Vladislav give Nick a disapproving look and Nick shrugs. “What?”  
“What, we can’t wear onesies? It’s fucking July, dude.” “Declan, mind your language.” “Sorry Anton.”

“Usually we don’t turn back until morning so there’s not chance of us running into vampire skulking around, insulting people.”

“Hey, we didn’t know, did we?”

“What are you even doing here, looking for your next meal, are ya? Gonna eat the fish and chip shop owners? Really?”

“No! No we’re not!”  
“You guys are being rude, now.” Viago crosses his arms, clearly unhappy with the suggestion.

“You guys don’t even eat food, do you?”  
“I fancy a chip, actually.” Nick quickly reaches over to the mass of food on one of the tables and takes a chip, eating it with a smug grin.  
“Hey!”

“Oh, no, I wouldn’t do that.” Vladislav and Viago look more nervous than they have since arriving.

“Why not?”

“What’s your problem, man?” The werewolves, although obviously still exhausted, look as though they might stand.

“Okay, Nick, let’s go.” Viago says, pulling Nick out of the store by his arm despite his protests. Vladislav exits with them, followed by another guy, holding a box of takeaway chips.

“Did they have a human with them?”  
“No. No, I think he was on his own.”

Anton turns back to his pack.  
“Alright everyone, eat up, it’s gonna be sunrise soon.”


End file.
